Why some marriage last longer than the others?
Many newly webbed couples describe their attractions to each other as body chemistry.
When people married, do they mix into one body forever, just like the Oxygen and hydrogen stick to each other and become a droplet of water?
No, the magical ceremony of webbing is far less magical than the chemical reaction of Oxygen and hydrogen. Oxygen and hydrogen do not need a marriage to bind them forever. But a bride and a broom do want a ceremony, a legal contract to bind them together. They know deep in their heart, may be not in their heart, but in their rational brain, they worry someday in the future, one of them might have a change of Heart, wanting to become Oxygen or Hydrogen again. Then the marriage contract might give their impulses a little constraint.
Married couple still are two individual persons. After the marriage ceremony, each of them still has different desires, different daily living habits, saving and spending habits, value systems, obligations to their family of origin, sibling and friends, skills, careers, and plans for future, world views, life missions, plan for family. Two persons, living under the same roof, share a bed, need to compromise all these differences.
Staying in a marriage, is the results of compromising on both parties. Each one in the marriage calculate the sacrifice of individual freedom and the benefits of stay in the marriage. When one feel that the equation is not balance over a long period of time, he/she may want to get out of the commitment. Probably, the other one might be yelling “you should not break the commitment, it is wrong, and it is ungodly and it is sinful.”
But it is also wrong that you did not care that your partner does not get as much benefit from the marriage as you do. Or your partner has made the most accommodations between the two of you. Or your partner has been the one made most compromises and yielding to your wishes. Or you have scarified less or exercised less self-restrain than your partner. Imbalance cannot maintain forever.
How marriage counseling help?
Rearrange the compromises in different facets of the living together arrangements. So that each one feel that his/her compromise is worthy for the benefit they got from the marriage.