How to interact with my significant others who take a break from addiction? (Recently completed an inpatient treatment program or in therapy.)
A lot of people whose spouses have a break from addiction right after the treatment hold a fear and have a pessimistic expectation of the sobriety of their loved ones. They probably think in the back of their minds: “I don’t know how long he/she will stay sober this time.” They probably have their hopes up and shattered many times in the past. So, they are skeptical about their sobriety this time around. This skepticism is based on reality and is a way to protect themselves from despair, being shattered or dashed. However, this skepticism could be a negative force for the recently recovering alcoholic. People either voluntary or involuntary will fulfill their loved ones’ expectations. This phenomenon was well documented in the book “Secrets.” So, there is a very fine line between 1. protecting oneself from being broken again and 2. not leading the loved one to their familiar way of living:addiction.
It is very important for the recovering addicts to continue keep connection with therapeutic agent: therapists, therapy groups. It is also very important that the significant persons of the recovering addicts learn a new way of interacting with their loved ones. It is like walking on a tight rope, balancing his/own risk of mental health, and keeping a reasonable positive expectation of the recovering process of their loved ones. This Balancing Skills does not come naturally. It must be learned. I believe the current chemical dependent treatment program and gambling addiction program do not have a strong enough component for their family members.
I strongly recommend significant others and family members of recovering addicts seek consultation as How NOT to interact with them in the OLD ways so that you don’t reshape them back into their OLD roles in the family constellations, and what is the NEW ways to interact with these “REBORN” loved ones.