who are those who suffer long and deep impact of trauma (complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
why you have to work on Self-Compassion when you have PTSD
Who are those who suffer long and deep impact of trauma.(Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Why you have to work on self-compassion when you have PTSD.
Some people hold onto resentment, anger, grudge for a very long time. Why? There are many reasons, in some cases, it is a repeated offense. He or she is not holding a resentment accumulated long time ago, the resentment is for an offense which repeated again and again, it might have happened recently, and it might happen again in the future.
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In other cases, the impact of the offense is permanent, even the offend has ended, but the impact still crippled, disabled or inconvenient the victim. The victim is dealing with the impact of the offense currently.
Another scenario is: the offended person, unwilling to take responsibilities of the chain of events which lead up to the offense.
Resentment, grudges, anger
usually are the results of being offended. Offenses occur in a context and in a sequence. By holding onto the grudge, resentment and anger, the person may focused on one link of a chain of event in which he is being offended. By merely focus on one link of the events, he/she can ignore the preceding or subsequence events, in which he/she is responsible for. While a person is unwilling to take responsibility for the portion of his or her wrongdoing, the person will not let go the section of the linkage where he is the victim of unfair treatment by others. By holding on that link, he can anchor his grudge, resentment and anger. If they let go of the grudge, they no long can fixate their attention to the link of events in which he is the victim, when their attention wonders to the preceding event, or the consequent event, they have to face the guilt of his wrongdoing or the portion of his wrongdoing.
For those people who must maintain they are 100% faultless, they are the purest one, they are the spiritual saints, they would rather see themselves as victim, and hold onto grudge, anger and resentment than letting go of the grudging past offense and then move on.
Our minds can be understood as two part: the unconscious part and the conscious part. The conscious part is the conscious mind and the unconscious part is the unconscious mind. When the ego is fragile, it could not hold itself up with the knowledge that he/she is guilty, then the unconscious mind will do something to protect the conscious mind. That is when our defense mechanism put into work, through repression, regression, denial, projection, displacement, rationalization, reaction formation, Sublimation. In this case, the defense mechanism: DENIAL is put to work.
With this understanding, the therapist would not ask the patient: “just let it go.” nor argue with the patient that he was also at fault. Instead, the therapist will help the patient put his super-ego, the moral/value center, and his/her moral censor at ease. Help the judge, the self-critic inside the patient become kinder and more compassionate to himself or herself. Sometimes, we need to work on the early childhood trauma, such as harsh punishment from caregivers, (parents).
That is the reason that self-compassion, and self-acceptance are the important link of letting go of grudges, resentment, and anger of others.
Now you might know why you have to work on self-compassion, when you have PTSD