Praying from the perspective of Eastern Psychological Services
Our services is in the realm of behavioral health. We serve people of all religious faiths.
When my patients mention to me that they Pray. I often inquire about their practice of praying. I asked them how they pray, sitting with both feet on the ground, or sitting on a chair cross legged, or on the floor, or kneeling or standing. I asked them where they pray. In church, at home, on a street corner, at the dinner table. I asked them how they prepare themselves before they pray. Bathing and fasting, or laying down a blanket on the floor, or looking at the mirror and combining their hair first? Or be still and quiet for 5 minutes before they pray? Do they pray vocally aloud or in silence? Finally, what they say in their prayers: asking or praising or giving thanks. If asking, ask what?
Praying is a practice bordering the mental realm and spiritual realm. As a psychologist, I am very cautious about not going beyond my professional expertise. I do not ask a patient about their practice of praying if he/she did not indicate to me that they have a religious faith. Or have questions about their praying practice.
The practice of praying is a behavior. Therefore, it falls into the realm of behavioral science/psychology and behavioral Health—psychotherapy. But as to the divine intervention, then it is the religious aspect of praying. That is beyond the realm of behavioral science or behavioral health. So, in therapay, we talk about the behavioral aspect of praying but not the divine intervention.
When a client with Christian faith prays in the manner that is contradict with the principles according to their faith, (bible principles) that I consider it as malpractice of their faith. It affects their mental health because it creates cognitive dissonance.
Three common mistakes in the practice of praying.
- Ask God to do us a favor.
Obtain some materials, privilege, status we would not gain or achieve by natural human means.
Many church goers don’t believe that it is un-Christian to ask God to provide the money for the church to expand church building, ultimately the church is “His house”, or ask God to help a member in the church to get the job he/she has long been yarning for or seeking healing for the church members.
This expectation is contradicted to the principles in Christian teaching: you reap what you sow. You shall not reap what you did not sow. That principle is the principle of causation in science.
Another Christian principle: God is fair. Asking God to do you a favor is asking God to be ungodly. In secular principle: it is illogical to believe God is fair and also asking God to do you a favor.
- When praying, some Christian ask God to listen to him/her. This is a mistake.
Praying is the moment seeking for God’s will. It is time for listening, and receiving revelation. . One of the principles in Christian teaching is God Know our needs even before we open our month. There is no need to tell God what we need and no need to reason with God why we need what we ask. Christian teaching state clearly, seek his will first. Praying is seeking God wills. Not asking God to listen to us.
- Have not prepare for a mental set of praying
The most important focus of praying is not what to say, it is the mindset, the mindset of “in the presence of the almighty God”. The prayer believe God is everywhere, omnipresence. But our mindset of searching a new car, buying a new house, put us thousand miles away from the mindset welcoming God’s presence. Many Christians start open their mouths praying while they are still thousand miles away from their own mindset of welcoming God’s presence. And they ended their pray long before they reach their mindset of welcoming God’s presence. It is like making a phone call to the White House, expecting to talk to the President. The caller pick up the phone, started talking into the phone even before the receiver answered the call. Do pray until you are in the presence of God. How to prepare yourself to get into that mindset? Queen Esther told her people to fast and bathe. And “turn off their cell phones!!” I am sure she would advise them to turn off their cell phone if they have one!
The Christian principles of waiting on God, and preparation for pray are explained in Waiting On God by Andrew Murray and New Seeds of contemplation by Thomas Merton. Both authors are devoted Christians.
Why the proper praying practice is a good mental health practice:
The proper praying practice is: “ Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
- State our wish: please take this cup of suffering away from me. By stating our wish, we engage in linear thinking, logical thinking rather than circular thinking. Obsessive thoughts, ruminations are part of circular thinking. When one has to turn the thinking in to words, in language,, one straighten out his circular thought into linear expression. That practice reduces circular thinking and obsessive thinking.
- Vocalize your thoughts, wishes, suffering express the pant up emotions.
- “yet I want your will be done, not mind.” Reaffirm the prayer’s submission to God will. Prioritize His wants: take this cup away from me is what he want, yet he want the most is to follow His father’s will. He put his wants in the prospective of another higher order of wanting: his father’s will be done. Through submission and obedience, his wanting become second.
In therapy, we help clients by two opposing processes: 1. helping them to achieve their goal, 2. to help them to let go of their goals, if their goals are an obsession or addiction or harmful to his/her mental health. The prayer help us to loose our pursuit of our goals. e.g. “ God help me to become a multi-millionaire.” If we put this pray into a proper formula: “God help me to become a multi-millionaire. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Essentially, you are praying for God’s will in this matter. In submitting your wills under God’s will, your obsession of Multi-million dollar goal has loosen up its grip on you. that is “deliver us from temptations’
- Praying the “God’s will be done, not mind.” You make a statement to re-affirming your obedience to God. It is self-affirmation, self -suggestion, it is a self-motivation. In behavioral Science. It is a proven psychological principle.
- In this short pray: “ I wish God will help me to become a multi-millionaire, yet your will to be done, not mine.” The first part is : The wish to move millions of dollars from someone’s bank account to my account. The second part is “ I am willing to obey your wills” The first part require a miracle, the second is not a request, it is a self proclamations, it does not require any miracle. It negate the original request!
- Prayer is not asking God to perform a miracle for you, but for you to proclaim that you obey God, willingly let his will replace your will.
All the above are good mental health practice. Therefore, those who pray properly, are practicing good mental health practices. Even before their pray reach God’s ear.