There are probably thousands of answers. Here I name one of the thousand.
This one is a secret. Everyone stare at it, but they did not know it is the answer they are looking for.
Every woman know it is their perfume, their long eye lashes, the bush on their faces, their eyebrows, their curvaceous figures, the sexy blouses they worn on their first date attract her current husband. All these have magic power, so it worked once, it should work forever, even after the marriage. So. Whenever they find their partner become less enthusiastic toward them, they pump up their power of attraction, even go under the plastic surgery. Her thought is : it works once, it will work forever.
It is wrong.
Attraction due to physical attributes: beautiful face and curvaceous figure play a heavy role in mate selection. It indeed worked then.
But in the stage of co-habitation, living together, marriage, physical attraction loses its potency to social interactions. Due to the factor of satiation, people become less excited about their partners physical beauty. Instead, the social interaction replaces its importance. Praise, appreciation, supports, agreement, validation, respects are the positive social interaction. Criticism, reprimands, command, objections, disagreement, correction, admiration of other man/woman become the sands and grits in the engine block.
In the stage of mate selection, women attract to man’s wealth, social status, physique, man attract to women’s beauty, physique. After the marriage, the person rates his/her spouse’s attractiveness not by sight, but through his/her hearing. They give their spouses higher score when their spouses give them praise, appreciation, and respect. The listener lowers the score of the speaker when he/she criticizes the listener, show disrespect to the listener, devalue the listener.
Suppose on the webbing day, the bride scored ten in the eyes of the broom. After 5 years of marriage, the wife gave her husband 500 blows of criticism. She is as beautiful as the day they married; the difference is that 500 blows of criticism. Does these blow of criticism not effecting his attraction toward her?
Back to the question, why some man attracted to women in pornography? Why some men have affair with women who is much less attractive than their wives?
There are thousands of answers, one of them is:
The women, actually only the images in pornography have never criticized him! And the woman whom he has affair with has not yet criticized him!
What keep a spouse from having a sweet tongue? Resentment. Each time, your partner criticizes you, you probably build up resentment, over time, your tongue could not say anything that is sweet. Resentment builds up in both directions.
Woman, when you have marital conflict, don’t doubt your physical attractiveness.
Don’t put more makeup on, don’t run to plastic surgeon.
Man, when you have martial conflict, don’t doubt your self worth nor seek out a new admirer.
How marital counseling work?
Therapists help you to remove resentment and revive the sweetness of your tongue.
When you have marital conflict, don’t run to plastic surgeon, nor seeking out new admirer, but run to marital therapist!