The behavior and feeling of lacking confidence arise when one believes he receives more attention, respect, prestige, praise, status, or position, than he deserves, or an expectation he could not fulfill.
Let us look at this example: when the actors and actresses go up the stage to receive their Amy awards. Many of them look a bit awkward and lack confidence, their appearances are not the ones you saw in his/her movies. Then, the actor or actress makes his acceptance speech. His demeanor changed. He/she looks more confident. He is transformed in just a few minutes. What the acceptance speech has done to him or her? What did he say in his acceptance speech?
The essence of the acceptance speech is giving credit to those who contributed to his success, e.g. my director, my make-up artists, colleagues, a whole string of people ……then his spouse, his teachers, his mentors, and ultimately his parents. Then the actor/actress calls those people onto the stage, stands with them, passing the award to them. The message is “I don’t deserve all the glory by myself, the glory belongs to them as well.” When he walks off the stage, he does not walk alone, he is accompanied by his supporters/contributors.
Let us look at another scenario.
There is a medical emergency on an airplane, and the attendant asks if is there a doctor on board. There was a doctor on board; he looked around, wanting to see if another doctor was answering the call, but he did not see anyone standing up. He did not answer the call, he was wondering whether he was qualified; with all eyes on him, what if he made a wrong decision? How would it affect his practice, his license, and his reputation, What if the passenger died, would he be sued for malpractice? All the thoughts come to his mind. While he was hesitating, someone rushed to the choking passenger, gave him a hemlock maneuver, and the passenger dislodged a piece of chicken bone from his throat!
The passenger who rushed to the choking passenger only felt the urgency and the necessity of his action.
The doctor who hesitated is the one who is concerned about his social image.
I remember at the beginning of my professional presentation, I was nervous. I tried to cover up my nervousness. In one presentation, my nervousness is too obvious. I tell my audience that I am nervous, I know I am not a good speaker, but I have a very important message to deliver to you. I met with applause. Since then, I remember presentation is not presenting my skill of presentation, I am presenting a very needed message. The presentation is not about me, it is about my message. No, it is not even “my” message, it is “the” message. The message needs to be heard. That is the reason for my presentation.
How to boost your confidence? I believe people need more than just stand straight, always smiling, and look confident. There is something more than that.
Do you have a message to deliver? What is the mission of your life? Do you overclaim your expertise? Do you falsify your credentials? Did you plagiarize others’ ideas in your dissertation? If you don’t, how is your relationship with your mentors? Did they welcome you to join their trade/profession? Were you not graceful to your mentors? Do you steal the credit from your contributors? Are you ashamed of your roots? Family linage? Ethnicity? What does your supportive network look like?
I will help you with your confidence from the bottom up, not just give you a nice suit to put on. Improve your confidence in the core of you, so let it shine through.